Days 24 and 25ish

So yesterday was Mama's birthday. I baked a double layer marble cake with Fudge Round snack cakes in between the 2 layers, biscotti around the bottom, toffee chips around the top and mini chocolate chips as the top border. I didn't lick a spoon or eat a morsel. And then I had to go pick up KFC for dinner. Driving in that van with all that chicken stank was almost more than I could stand. I know that KFC is run by Satan and they are inhumane and I as a responsible adult should never eat it ever. But that doesn't make me not want it. Last night was hard. But I know that if I just dive right into eating like that I will be ill. That almost wasn't enough to keep me from diving in.

I wanted to do the juice only fast for 60 days but I've had to change my plans. I struggle with thinking that this makes me a failure but facts are facts. We are going on vacation Sept 17, my 29 birthday. We're actually going to my grandparents that day and then heading for a week at the beach on the 18th. I cannot just jump off of the fast and eat whatever, there's a process I have learned from Livestrong.com about the proper way to end a fast and it's pretty detailed. I have to start eating half an apple, then move on to other fruits, homemade veggie soup, then raw veggies and so on over the course of a few weeks. So next week or the week after I will start adding back food. (hope this made sense)

I've got such a long way still to go. And I am afraid that the minute I eat that half an apple I will gain back 12lbs at least.  I don't want all of this to be for not. I'm down to 258 so 26lbs gone!

 I know this post and the last have been long and serious and I want to thank you all for your comments and private messages. It's hard to put all of this out there, but you all make it easier by loving me anyway. Y'all rock <3