Day 5 was hard. I went and purchased a birthday cake for a family member for their party tonight. I hadn't stepped foot in a grocery store since I started this. Too much temptation. We went over to my parent's house for dinner, they had Domino's for the birthday party. (See previous posting about Domino's, and then play that Alanis song "Ironic") I know I'm gonna have to deal with this but my word this first week has been hell.
I broke down in Bob's arms tonight. Can't really pin point why. I feel lonely, food was my friend, if Bob was busy on the computer I could eat, I feel unhappy, food boosted me up. If I was sad, I ate too. While I know I have a thyroid that is sluggish I also know that I don't make wise food choices too often. I am trying to change my life here and damn is it hard. A lot of thoughts and memories from the past, some from way, way back are creeping up, stuff from childhood. Maybe I shoved stuff down, literally!, and didn't really feel or process some things. I feel so vulnerable. The thought of more juice makes me wanna puke. Hopefully tomorrow will be better. I didn't swim because of storms, I also apparently am up a pound. WTF. See you all tomorrow.
Yo, don't worry about the pound. That's going to happen here and there. Be proud. You've done GREAT so far. You're really inspiring. I did sucky this week, and just the fact that you stuck through this has made me want to try harder.
ReplyDeletep.s. You're -really- special...I follow hardly anyone's blog!!! :)
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful for your comments chaik, they were great to wake up to this morning. And I want to say thanks for taking the time to follow me. You rock!!!
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